


Whether Near or Far, I'll Always Be Yours

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3990805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and this probably isn’t the best time for a reunion, but do you want to sit down for a few minutes and talk? We never really got closure, and that bothers me, a lot. And I know it may not go great, but I’d at least like to talk it out.”<br/>Dan gives a hum. “Mmh. Yeah, that’s nice. Text me some other time and maybe.”<br/>Dan grabs his coffee and rushes out, leaving Phil behind in the Starbucks. The noise of the coffee shop is loud, but the only thing Phil can hear is deafening silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends! in all honesty, i'm kind of worried that this fic is off to a really messy start seeing as it's the first real thing i've written and published, and i didn't have a beta reader for it. but please comment/like/whatever you do on ao3 and feedback would be much appreciated!! i'll try to update every week or two~ thanks everyone for reading!!

It’s been three months, 19 days, and four hours since Dan had broken down screaming at Phil. It had been three months, 19 days, and four hours since Dan had shouted for Phil to get out, that he didn’t love him anymore.

It had been three months, 19 days, and four hours since Phil and decided he was going to do his best to erase all his memories of Dan Howell.

It had been three months, 19 days, and four hours since Phil had given up and refused to forget Dan.

 _“God_ damn _it Phil! Why the fuck do you keep doing this?! Will you ever stop spending all your time fucking editing and just talk to me for once?! Maybe it’d just be better if you up and fucking left, since you never have time for me anymore” Phil didn’t know why Dan was so angry, he thought it would be something that Dan understood. They were both YouTubers, and Phil never expected Dan to lash out like that. And it wasn’t like their relationship was exactly suffering._

_But Phil had done exactly what Dan had said. He’d gotten up and packed as much as he could into his extra large duffel bags that he’d bought when they were moving into the flat. It almost gave him a feeling of deja vu, except this time he was leaving his boyfriend._

_He kept packing as much as he could and walked out and went to the closest stop for the Underground, and sat down and started crying. He was sure he looked weird, a 28 year old man crying into his hands while sitting on a pile of luggage, but he still couldn’t get himself to stop._

Phil took a step into Starbucks. He’d been trying to get out more recently, and had gotten into the habit of spending 5 pounds on coffee every day. He stepped up to the counter and the barista smiled.

“Hi! Tall caramel macchiato?” Phil nodded, his card already in his hand. The barista rung up his order and Phil went to stand and wait, becoming involved in Crossy Road.

“Tall caramel macchiato!” Phil reached out for it without looking up and his hand collided with another.

He took his attention off Crossy Road and almost dropped his phone on the ground.

His ex had reached for the same coffee as him. The same ex that had screamed at him to get out of their apartment, screamed that he never wanted to see Phil again, screamed that ever dating Phil had been a mistake and he couldn’t believed he’d “wasted so much of his life away dating you fucking asshole.” The same ex, as in the same Dan Howell that Phil hadn’t seen in three months, 19 days, and four hours.

“Uh.” Phil’s mouth didn’t seem to be cooperating much more than that at the moment. “Uh. Uhh. It’s yours. Sorry. Didn’t mean to do that.” He tried to push the drink towards Dan, but the counter was too slippery and the hot drink fell directly on the floor and splattered all over Dan’s pants.

“Fucking Christ Phil! Fucking-”

“Hold on, I’ll grab something to clean that up with,” the barista said, interrupting Dan’s cursing.

Phil stood there, not wanting to say anything for fear of angering Dan more, but not wanting to say nothing for the exact same reason. The barista hurried around the counter with a wet dish towel, saying “I’m sorry, let me clean that up, I’ll make you a new one in just a second.”

"Sorry for that," Phil finally said. Dan shrugged.

"Whatever." It wasn't really 'whatever' to Dan though. After living together for three years, Phil could tell Dan's emotions easily, even though they hadn't seen each other in months.

Dan was mad as hell.

Phil took a few steps away and went back to playing games on his phone, ignoring Dan’s standing there glaring at him.

“Caramel macchiato for Phil! Sorry about that, sir,” the barista apologized. Phil shook his head.

“No worries, it was my fault. Thanks.”

Phil nods and takes another glance at Dan, who’s still soaked in coffee and waiting for his macchiato.

Something in Phil tells him it’s a bad idea. It’s a terrible idea, it’s an idea that might just result in Phil getting punched in the face.

It’s an idea he goes through with anyways.

“Hey, Dan, I really am sorry for spilling that all over you.” Dan hums in acknowledgement but not acceptance. “It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and this probably isn’t the best time for a reunion, but do you want to sit down for a few minutes and talk? We never really got closure, and that bothers me, a lot. And I know it may not go great, but I’d at least like to talk it out.”

Dan gives another hum. “Mmh. Yeah, that’s nice. Text me some other time and maybe.”

“Caramel mach for Dan!” a different barista calls out. Dan grabs his drink and rushes out, leaving Phil behind in the Starbucks. The noise of the coffee shop is loud, but the only thing Phil can hear is deafening silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil sits on his bedroom floor, staring at his phone. It’s been three days since he saw Dan, but he still hadn’t texted him, and wasn’t sure whether he was going to. He wanted to- god, he wanted to more than anything, but he didn’t know what Dan was going to say back to him. Was the younger boy going to shout at him again and say that no, nothing he had said that day had been a lie, and he really did hate Phil, or would he say that he had been in a shit mood and had snapped, and that he was sorry and hadn’t meant any of it? Phil was trying to convince himself that Dan would definitely, surely say the latter, but deep down he knew that it was a fifty-fifty chance. And Dan wasn’t one to hide his feelings.  
Phil’s fingered hovered over the “send” button. He hadn’t typed much into the message bar. All it said was a simple hey. He’d spent so long analyzing this one word message, and he wasn’t sure whether he’d ever get the guts to send it.  
He tossed his phone a few feet away from him and got up from where he was lying, walking into his kitchen. He opened a cabinet, staring at a box of cereal. He wasn’t remotely hungry, but he grabbed the box and sat down at his table, eating mindlessly out of the box. But after five minutes he got bored of shoving cereal into his mouth and got up again, going back into his bedroom and grabbing his phone from where he’d left it on the floor.  
He unlocked it and it opened to the message he’d had sitting in his message bar ever since he’d ran into Dan at the coffee shop.  
Phil figured that it was now or never. He’d either hit the send button now and wait for a response, or he’d never get the courage to.  
So with a deep breath, he pressed the green button and closed his eyes. All he could do now was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading!! i'm currently very overwhelmed with finals so i'm sorry if it takes me a long time to update, i'l'l (probably) be back a few weeks into summer with a longer chapter. sorry this one was so short and honestly not my best writing~ thanks for everyones support and ill see yall soon! <3


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